I Practice, Therefore I Am Better?

It is a thought that might come every now and then while sitting on the cushion. It is also a question that comes often before and after formal practice, when we are out there in the midst of challenges and facing people or situations we don't like. At times, this comes as an observation, comparing ourselves, the meditators, to those who still don't practice, or have practiced for shorter than ourselves.

It can come in many forms, some of them perhaps being: 'I medidate, and they don't, that's why they can't see things clearly"; 'If only they'd meditate, they'd be different'; and so on. I have myself heard my mind and my mouth going along that path. And, noticed other practicioners do the same, at times even loudly! Some comments were the like of: 'I am more advanced in my meditation practice than (insert here name of someone you dislike in that moment)', or 'Because I meditate, I am more advanced than (insert here that same person's name, or another one, if your emotions changed in the meantime)'.

Nothing wrong with having such thoughts: lucky those who don't have any similar thinking any time. More interestingly, perhaps, is how to work with them, when we find ourselves thinking like this, while at the same time cultivating at our best awareness, empathy, compassion, openness, and non-judgment. Oh, yes, let's not forget non-striving and not-attachment, aren't they relevant as well?!

Some time ago I was reading a post from a very well-know entrepreneur, marketer, and public speaker: Seth Godin. In his post he underlines two aspects, that seem to me very relevant to medidation practice as well. First, the embodied and enacted idea that we must always 'get ahead'. Secondly, the suggestion that, in reality, we can create dignity and be successful at the same time, while not comparing to each other. How does this fit into meditation practice?, it made me think.

After all, when we are trying to get ahead at all times, we are always comparing ourselves to our previous selves, or those worst versions of ourselves that are deemed not to be good enough. Self-compassion might be a good ally to non-judgment here. And recalling that we are not striving for something, and we can let go of those need to be someone else, some other version of ourselves.

Also, when we are thinking we are getting (or being?!) ahead of someone else, we are once again playing around with our ego, fooling ourselves that we (or someone else) have to get somewhere else than where we already are. We then practice with an outcome in mind, not with a simple and open intention of cultivating our humanity. We might see that sometimes we even practice with an outcome in mind for someone else!

Yet, in mindfulness we are more of the same with respect to our fellow human beings. We can share our joyful and difficult journey, also in the practice, without comparing to each other along the way, but being on the way together. Dignity is a matter of respecting the different paths, the different heres and nows, what's possible already, and what's still just potential, in each of us, starting with ourselves.

It doesn't mean, I think, that we need to get along with everybody; that we must accompany ourselves to no matter who; that we should accept all sorts of behaviours just because we practice and, as such, we don't dislike and don't work to make it better. It means, more simply, that we can be aware that sometimes things don't work with someone, and then we can make our decisions, without judgments, comparisons, expectations.

In our practice we take a position, seated, in the here and now. This position and moment is not ahead, or lagging behind. In life we take a position, here and now, with our decisions and actions. Nobody is ahead, nobody is lagging behind, for our decisions and actions to have meaning and impact.

We don't practice because we are better than someone else, or because we are not as good as someone else. We simply practice, each in his own ways.

#mindfulness #conflict #perception